I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
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