doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Randomize
