on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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