i think my tv is drunk
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Randomize
