I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
