She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I would ride that face into the sunset
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
