I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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