Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
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