About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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