Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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