how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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