I want to stick my p in your. b.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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