The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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