1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
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