So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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