My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
