idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
