I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Randomize
