I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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