dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
We're too hungover to prance.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
