from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
