IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
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