youre lurking in front of me
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?