in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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