I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks