Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I just gift wrapped bread.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
