Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Randomize
