he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize