Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
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