Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Panties = found
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
