Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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