it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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