You just made me feel so damn special
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
