If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
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