I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Don't tell me you're on acid again
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
