I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize