Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
