he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize