Swine flu. Run for my life!
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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