Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
