I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
17 year olds will be the death of me.
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we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
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Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.