Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(931): View more from Tennessee

Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.

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(303): View more from Colorado

so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name

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(919): View more from North Carolina

Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.

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(303): View more from Colorado

There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.

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These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
Read it at the TFLN blog
(308): View more from Nebraska

You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.

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(416): View more from Toronto

We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.

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(330): View more from Ohio

He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.

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(309): View more from Illinois

I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.

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(262): View more from Wisconsin

Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.

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