Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

Favorite
(703): View more from Virginia

i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(703): i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels http://tfl.nu/aed7

Replies (3) Good night (746) Bad night (1419)
Favorite
(516): View more from New York

I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(516): I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero... http://tfl.nu/d5tx

Replies (24) Good night (5697) Bad night (715)
Favorite
(651): View more from Minnesota

She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(651): She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three. http://tfl.nu/b36h

Replies (17) Good night (836) Bad night (5199)
Favorite
(954): View more from Florida

I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(954): I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about. http://tfl.nu/gd5e

Replies (43) Good night (1323) Bad night (9227)
Favorite
(260): View more from Indiana

Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(260): Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement? http://tfl.nu/iy8f

Replies (8) Good night (1077) Bad night (2772)
Favorite
(516): View more from New York

This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(516): This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me. http://tfl.nu/6e09

Replies (8) Good night (3013) Bad night (811)
Favorite
(210): View more from Texas

remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(210): remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues http://tfl.nu/3lxf

Replies (9) Good night (801) Bad night (1704)
Favorite
(256): View more from Alabama

I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(256): I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?! http://tfl.nu/d9v0

Replies (61) Good night (1411) Bad night (2394)
Favorite
(850): View more from Florida

when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(850): when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys.. http://tfl.nu/5j7g

Replies (26) Good night (1124) Bad night (2655)
Favorite
(650): View more from California

My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(650): My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings. http://tfl.nu/futo

Replies (14) Good night (2261) Bad night (857)
Favorite
(806): View more from Texas

He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(806): He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead. http://tfl.nu/inpn

Replies (2) Good night (1057) Bad night (686)
Favorite
(608): View more from Wisconsin

I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.

(608): View more from Wisconsin

I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(608): I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books. (608): I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night. http://tfl.nu/nd7e

Replies (0) Good night (732) Bad night (463)
Favorite
(928): View more from Arizona

it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(928): it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird. http://tfl.nu/qac5

Replies (5) Good night (651) Bad night (371)
Favorite
(716): View more from New York

I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(716): I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet. http://tfl.nu/a3ri

Replies (1) Good night (554) Bad night (273)
Favorite
(713): View more from Texas

My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(713): My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN" http://tfl.nu/ihut

Replies (4) Good night (775) Bad night (384)

Randomize

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Find Us On: