Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
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can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
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Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.