you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT