Texts From Last Night

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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them

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  (609): there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them http://tfl.nu/lo0z
  Replies (24) Good night (5542) Bad night (856)
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  (510): View more from California

  stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work

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  (510): stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work http://tfl.nu/9l6e
  Replies (20) Good night (7442) Bad night (1705)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.

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  (250): I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official. http://tfl.nu/pkh7
  Replies (13) Good night (5837) Bad night (904)
• Favorite

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."

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  (774): I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..." http://tfl.nu/yy1j
  Replies (8) Good night (4520) Bad night (1037)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.

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  (570): he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough. http://tfl.nu/fko8
  Replies (8) Good night (5085) Bad night (900)
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"

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  (515): When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation" http://tfl.nu/vmn5
  Replies (10) Good night (3711) Bad night (1207)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.

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  (615): Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities. http://tfl.nu/y5al
  Replies (8) Good night (1780) Bad night (1006)
• Favorite

  (501): View more from Arkansas

  I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.

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  (501): I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk. http://tfl.nu/v5sh
  Replies (4) Good night (919) Bad night (514)
• Favorite

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet

  (1-250): View more from British Columbia

  Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that

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  (250): The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet (1-250): Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that http://tfl.nu/74qk
  Replies (11) Good night (519) Bad night (1002)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?

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  (360): I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years? http://tfl.nu/xhbr
  Replies (3) Good night (1428) Bad night (448)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.

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  (207): We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night. http://tfl.nu/i415
  Replies (2) Good night (863) Bad night (391)
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed

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  (778): i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed http://tfl.nu/9oqv
  Replies (2) Good night (570) Bad night (514)
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.

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  (602): He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME. http://tfl.nu/3gtt
  Replies (6) Good night (414) Bad night (574)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.

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  (781): Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes. http://tfl.nu/e45r
  Replies (1) Good night (541) Bad night (317)
• Favorite

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.

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  (901): I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck. http://tfl.nu/x3qh
  Replies (2) Good night (465) Bad night (518)

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