she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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