I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
My ass is underappreciated
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize