who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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