Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
