The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
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I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
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Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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