girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
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