I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
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