I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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