I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
