You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Randomize
