You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
