I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Dear god my vagina.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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