Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
