They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
