is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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