i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
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I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Congratulations! We have a period
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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