Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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