me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
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