You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
