if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
