My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
