we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
