Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
