at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
