HIV tests are more positive than that guy
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
