Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Randomize