I hate your face
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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